I am an excellent sleeper. By excellent, I mean I can sleep anywhere, anytime. Given a crowded space on vacation, I will happily take the couch or the floor. It doesn’t matter. The joke in our family is that if our house is hit by a tornado ( A likely event here in North Texas) and the roof is ripped off, I will be found amongst the branches of the trees, still sound asleep. My in laws stopped asking how I slept the night before, and fellow business travelers would sigh with jealousy when I noted that I slept just fine. No jet lag for me, thank you. I slept 12 hours on the plane and another 10 after we landed.
About every 6 or 8 months I will reboot by sleeping 24 hours or more. It is my bodies response to fatigue and stress. I slept over 30 hours once and my husband kept sending the kids in every 4 hours to check to see if I was still breathing.
When people ask me questions like “Don’t you have to get up and pee?” or “How could you have NOT heard that storm last night?” I simply respond “I was asleep. How would I know I have to pee or hear anything if I was asleep?” This baffles most people and they ask how I do it. I have grown to recognize the pattern and it breaks down into 7 stages.
Stage#1 – Snuggle up — be it in a bed or wherever, curl up with some blankets and a pillow if you have it and begin to breathe deeply. Tucking your nose under the covers helps to feel your breathing and creates a nesting effect. After a few minutes , I can feel “the fall” that slightly drifting sensation that is pulling me away towards slumber. This is Stage #2. At this point, I may be awakened if someone makes an effort to do so, but it has to be right there in the room, calling my name or shaking me. The sounds from other rooms do not disturb me. Stage#3 is Sleep paralysis ~ I am aware of sounds and movement around me, but I am unable to respond to them. People may come and go around me, talk about me, or even talk directly to me, but I can not respond. My eyes are closed, my body incapable of movement. Stage#4 is Deep sleep. I have intense dreams almost every night, and read a lot about dream interpretation. The analysis usually fits what I am experiencing in life, stress about work or life events are usually expressed in dreams about running late, not having packed properly for a trip, or the inability to find that one missing shoe. When life is going exceptionally well, and the future looks promising, I often dream about being able to fly. I simply get a running start and I am able to soar. In my dreams, people ask me how I do this and I explain just as I do in waking life about sleep, that it is very simple. They should try it . Just fly !
Stage #5 is a return to sleep paralysis. Again, I am aware but unable to move. Someone could shout “FIRE! GET OUT NOW!” and I could no more move than if I was shackled to the bed.
Stage# 6 is a slow re entry into the world. Drifting upward, becoming aware, drifting back to sleep, then slowly emerging. I can shift, I can open my eyes. I can look out the window and guess the time of day— Approximately. If I’ve slept past 10:00 am, it could be 10 or it could be 2 in the afternoon. I do not sense if I have slept for 8 hours or 13.
Stage #7 is the return to wakefulness. Usually at this point I have two cats nudging me with their noses and paws, hooking their claws into the blankets edge, attempting to pull it away from my face. I can roll out of bed, stumble to the bathroom and begin my day.
Except this time. This time there are no cats. I hear a soft whisping sound….Is it water ? Or air? It reminds me of the air brakes on the roller coasters at Six Flags. But softer, gentler, almost soothing. Beyond that , I hear a soft beeping sound. Is that my alarm ? Did I change the alarm sound ? I thought I had set it to flute music. A bright light hits my eyes and I look up to see a woman in a green mask and paper hair covering. She looks into my eyes, an intense flashlight in her hand, piercing my eyes. A voice comes from across the room “How do you want to code her?”
The View from my Back Porch 